It\’s embarrassing to admit butI am totally hooked on Dance Moms, and now, Abby\’s Ultimate Dance

Competition! So in an attempt to rationalize watching it, I have picked out some good lessons you can

get out of watching the show!!!


Lesson # 1 – Handling competition: The kids who are making it have learned how to handle adversity

before and failure . The kids who are falling apart are those who have always been told they are great,

who have been popular and successful in their world. When faced with more rigorous competition or

with dancers who are better than they are , they choke. Instead of digging down

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or ramping up their

game ,they crumble under the pressure .


Lesson #2- Listen to feedback and learn from your mistakes: The dancers who are listening to critiques

and applying them to their next performance move on and those who don\’t , who keep doing what they

always did, who think they are \”there\”, get eliminated.


Lesson # 3-

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It is not always enough to have talent or ability . I always tell my clients that just being

good at the job is often not enough. You need to pay attention to the \”soft skills\”; the social skills, the

emotional IQ, the ability to \”read the room\”, to show your passion, and use everything you have to

remain competitive.

For example ,there are kids who move on every week even though they may not have the best

technical skills. They have charm, energy, personality, something, that makes the judges want to give

them a chance. It\’s human nature for the judges to like and to root for certain people over others and

the thing that gives you another chance might be your soft skills!


Lesson # 4 – Negative feedback is not that effective. As a life coach trained in solution- focused

methods, this is not a surprise, but it is fun to see it played out on TV! Compare the debilitating

effect of Abby\’s totally negative criticism to Richy\’s balanced comments . Although he is very direct,

he balances the critical with praise . He uses the \”Oreo\” sandwich cookie method of giving a positive,

the critical, and finishes with another positive. The effect on the kids is that they seem to blossom

and work to try harder to improve their next performance .


So I guess I am not wasting my time watching tacky TV . There is a lot to be learned !

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